Your Dream Job Is Still a Job: The Reality of Being a Musician | Caro Kelley
Backstage Wisdom Podcast • EP 9
Making a Living from Music, Standing Up for Yourself, and Facing Six Months Without a Voice
You get to do what you love for a living. So why does it sometimes feel like a grind?
Most musicians know this feeling. The music is the reward, but around it sit emails about sound equipment, hours of social media, posters, invoices and gigs that pay the rent without lighting you up. Hardly anyone tells you that a dream job is still a job. Some days are brilliant, many are ordinary, and a lot of the work happens where nobody applauds.
This episode looks at what a sustainable, fulfilling music career actually takes. Caro Kelley, an American singer, pianist and songwriter who has lived in Munich for over ten years, plays around 120 shows a year, teaches, records for other artists and writes her own albums. In conversation with Marco, she talks about making a living from music, finding your own path when nobody hands you one and learning to be your own advocate. And about the moment everything stopped: six months without being able to sing, and what that crisis shows about identity, self-care and what really matters to a musician.
Because success is one thing. Finding lasting fulfillment in what you do is another.
🎧 Listen to the full conversation on the Backstage Wisdom Podcast.
«You take the job seriously. You don’t take yourself seriously.»
— Caro Kelley, singer, songwriter, pianist
Key Takeaways
Treat your dream job like a job, and stay honest about the unglamorous parts
Expecting magic every day is a fast track to burnout. The emails, the admin and the social media come with the territory. Ask of each task: does this bring me a benefit I actually want? If yes, do it deliberately. If not, charge more, delegate it or say no.
Be your own advocate: show up, be memorable, protect your priorities
Opportunities usually come through people, so networking isn’t a side activity, it’s part of the work. Support other musicians’ shows, make yourself easy to work with and give people a reason to remember you. Then decide what you won’t trade away, even when it costs you something.
Know what you can’t do without, and take care of it
Losing her voice for six months showed that for some musicians, one ability is tied closely to who they are. You don’t have to change that. But if something is that important to you, protect it like an athlete would: sleep, rest, technique and a life outside music that recharges you.
Deep Dive
A Dream Job Is Still a Job
What if the days that feel like a grind don’t mean you picked the wrong path? Many musicians quietly assume they should feel inspired all the time, and read every dull stretch as a warning sign. The reality is less romantic: you can have your dream job and still not have the best day at work every single day. Often it’s not the show that wears you down, it’s the lead-up: thirty emails about gear, posters to design, videos to film, invoices to send.
The useful question is whether the effort buys you something you actually want. Ten hours a week of social media is unpleasant for almost everyone, but if it brings you gigs or listeners, it can be a deliberate trade rather than a burden. The same logic applies to the gigs themselves. There are only a few reasons to say yes: the money, the people, your own songs, or music at a level that challenges you. If none of them applies, you can decline, and the more experience you gain, the more room you have to charge accordingly and choose.
It also helps to know that a full-time career rarely rests on one thing. Unless you’re one of the very few who do a single specialty at a high level, the musicians who can pay their rent tend to be chameleons: teaching, covers, session work, their own music. And you can feel successful and still be restless. Playing a wedding standard for the hundredth time is an honor, because it pays, and it can still leave you wanting something more personal. Original music raises the stakes: you have to sell a song nobody has heard to a room that didn’t come for it, and the pay is lower. Both feelings can be true at once.
Finally, keep perspective. Take the job seriously, but not yourself. Cables get forgotten, lyrics slip, gigs fall through. Nobody dies if you mess up a gig, you move on to the next one. The fear of what might go wrong is usually more exhausting than the thing itself.
“My dream job, but a job.”
Caro Kelley
Be Your Own Advocate
Who is actually working on your career when you’re not? For most independent musicians, the honest answer is: you. That isn’t selfish, it’s a starting point. Nobody else will take the gig for you, protect your calendar or tell people you exist.
Most opportunities come through people. Gigs lead to more gigs: someone sees you play, and a month later they call. That’s why networking is part of the craft rather than a distraction from it. Show up at other musicians’ shows, not only when it benefits you. Film a clip for them, say hello to the venue staff, have a drink with them. Be reliable and pleasant to work with, because when two players are equally good, the easy one gets the call.
Being memorable matters too, and it’s more concrete than it sounds. One useful test: could someone dress up as you for Halloween? That doesn’t mean a costume, it means a recognizable look, sound and idea. Plenty of people play guitar well. What makes someone remember you? And behind the presentation sits the unglamorous part: practice, working equipment, a spare cable, being prepared. If you’re doing everything right and the calls aren’t coming, the honest question may simply be whether you’ve practiced enough yet. Watching recordings of your own sets is a straightforward way to find out.
Advocacy also means deciding what you won’t give up. It can look like turning down a stable teaching job so you can say yes to a last-minute show, and being open with students and clients about it. And it means not turning your frustration into public complaints. If nobody is listening, the answer isn’t a post about local art needing support. It’s better songs, better videos and more entertainment value, and then people come to you.
“I am the only advocate for myself.”
Caro Kelley
Know What You Can’t Do Without
Which part of your musicianship would you be lost without? For some it’s the instrument, for others the songwriting or the stage. A voice lost for six months can make that visible very quickly. Many musicians find out how closely an ability is tied to who they are only when it’s taken away.
The conclusion doesn’t have to be “I should be able to be happy without it.” Sometimes the more honest conclusion is: this matters to me, so I need to look after it. Making music is physical, much like a sport. Sleep, water, rest, not talking when you don’t have to, and knowing your limits on a long run of shows aren’t boring extras, they’re what keeps you in the game. Singers in particular can sound good while straining in ways nobody notices. If you’re self-taught, a professional ear on your technique can save you from learning that the hard way. And a setback like this can leave you stronger: relearning the mechanics can make you a better player, a better teacher, and more careful on tour.
The same applies beyond the body. When your work is your passion, there’s no natural off-switch, and the grind, rejections and comparison on social media don’t go away. Many musicians need something that has no stakes: a walk with binoculars, a craft, a partner who says “let’s put the phone down.” That isn’t a luxury. It’s part of how you keep a long career sustainable, and how you stay someone who still enjoys the music.
“If this thing’s really that important to me, I really need to take care of it.”
Caro Kelley
Continue the Conversation
The best conversations don't end when the episode is over. They continue in the questions we ask ourselves.
1. The Four-Reason Gig Audit (15 minutes)
Write down your last ten gigs or jobs. Next to each, mark which of these reasons applied: money, people I love, my own music, a real musical challenge. Anything with zero marks is a candidate to decline, reprice or hand over next time. Anything with three or four marks is worth protecting in your calendar.
2. The Memory Test
Ask three people who’ve seen you play, such as a bandmate, a friend and someone from a venue: “What’s the first thing you remember about my show?” Compare the answers with how you’d like to be remembered. Then change one visible thing this month: a signature item on stage, the look of your posters or the way you introduce your first song.
3. Your Can’t-Lose List
Write down the one ability you’d be lost without, whether that’s your voice, your hands or your ears. Underneath, list three things you do to protect it, and one thing you know you neglect (sleep, warm-up, hydration, rest days). Pick that one thing and book it into your calendar like a gig.
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